good evening and welcome to the 84 th Annual Academy Awards I’m your multitude Daniel Tosh you may know me from such films as the love leader and that’s it sorry if I don’t stumbled my markings tonight Brett Ratner told me recitals are for lesbians Eddie Murphy couldn’t be here because he’s busy getting blow by a transgender sex I’d like to thank George Clooney for taking a break from shafting every concoction waitress in city to be here tonight the Academy must be honored let me smell your thumb George no woman’s ever good enough for you but apparently the script for the men who stare at goats was nice to see Meryl Streep yes she is one of the great acting genius of our time just imagine what she could have accomplished if she were pleasant to look at nighties “youre gonna” glancing as stunning as you can at this top you’re like what’s nominated tonight Jay Edgar who would have guessed a movie about the is chairman of the FBI set in the 30 s would have been tolerating my favorite area was when the maidens sitting in the row behind me made a phone call you’re 81 Clint Eastwood the only thing you should be directing is your nurse to give you another spoonful of applesauce whose theme was it to throw Leonardo DiCaprio as a solid bald old boy he looks like a 14 time old boy I definitely sounds like I’m committing a crime when I’m masturbating to him and now a song yes good

pexels photo 270637 - Tosh.0: Daniel Tosh Auditions to Host the Oscars

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